I sure hope you can attach to the site shown above. It is a tremendous review of the symptoms that signify the stages of Lewy Body Dementia. According to this information, I am completely in Phase 3 and showing a number of significant symptoms of Stage 4. Not really a surprise but sobering just the same. I have a planned appointment with our Neurologist's Office this week and it will be interesting since many of these issues have become much more bothersome and serious.
One of the issues I experience is mental trips into various situations or events. In other words, day dreaming that seems Very REAL to me! Some of these day dreams are related to my long held desire to build a concrete home on 10 or more acres, and live the survivalist life. My Wife never shared that dream and it never materialized. But, I spend hours, especially at night alone in the Cabin, building and maintaining that beautiful 800 Square Foot Survival Bunker!
Other day dreams relate to arguments or outright fights with people I either know or have never met. Some of them are very violent, others are just debates of points of interest. Most relate either to me living as a survivalist or relate directly to my Navy career. Some nights, I just want to sit in my Cabin and SCREAM as loud as I can and beat the walls down or just cry because I am so filled with anger and depression! Most nights, I toss and turn, living my day dreams, until I finally fall asleep. And sometimes, I wake up during the night, still living those day dreams!!
Another issue I am having serious problems dealing with is being isolated and alone. No one, and I mean NO ONE comes to visit me. It has been Thanksgiving since I have seen my son and he lives 20 minutes away!! I have nothing in common with the people I live with. They are rich, snobbish, self-centered liberals that truly believe, no, the are totally convinced their solid waste does not stink! Being a Retired Enlisted Navy Master Chief does not seem to impress them. I guess they do not know only 1% of the enlisted personnel can be in Pay grade E-9!! It is easier to make Admiral in the Navy that it is to make Master Chief!! And even though I am an Ordained Pastor, the other Pastor's here do not associate with me because I am a "Lay" Pastor. Of course, I have done Services since I moved in here and none of the Seminary grads of the Liturgical churches have not. But, they seem to look down on me with disdain. I even had a female reverend ( small "r" on purpose) tell me I was not a Pastor and that she was ordained by her Seminary and that Churches do not Ordain Pastors. She needs to read the Bible! First, there are NO female reverends. Paul said, women are not to have a position of authority over men in the Church. Oh yes, and they were to have their heads covered and their mouths SHUT!! This female reverend does not practice that either.
Remember what my GP said? I am depressed!! I am truly finding it difficult to keep it together. I get very agitated at the smallest things. Thank God that I have the Cabin to hide in. This was a life saving move for me. I need to stay in the Cabin more and travel through the rest of the community less, for my own good. Or, someone else is going to get the same treatment the Fedex driver got!
I have not unloaded in print in a while and I thought you should know where I was progressing, or digressing to. And, like I tell the folks in the Dementia Support Group, I am normal!! Normal for the stage of LBD I am in.