Saturday, November 24, 2018

My Doctor says I’m depressed!

My GP did one of those leading question quizzes and deduced that I am severely depressed!  No Shit!!  My Wife wants to know why?  Well, let’s see;  I went from a self-sufficient, self-assured, confident, WARRIOR, who lead men into battle, to a person who can’t even get a haircut without an escort!!

The few things I want to do, I never get to do.  And trust me, there are few things I want to do anymore.   I get angry over trivial things, continually feel like kicking the shit out of most people I see, and I have no one who respects me or understands what I did for 40 years to talk too!

Yes I am depressed and I can only see it getting worse.  The GP wants me to go to a Psychiatrist.  For what?  That Scab Lifter will only want me to take more pills!  NO!!  Not going to happen.

I try very hard to be as calm as I can.  If I am out of control and I know it, I go to “The Cabin” and hide.  That is as good as it can be.

The holidays always are hard for me and this year may present even more challenges.  My Wife dose her very best to mitigate stressors for me but some things are out of her control.

1 comment:

  1. Dang. I could have written the same thing if I had thought about it. I have been taking a SSRI since getting diagnosed. I gave in and took it, because I figured I would probably need it. Not sure if it is doing anything or not, not even sure if I am depressed. I'm just messed up in every area of my body, behavior, memory, and autonomic function. I mean, what the hell do people think we should feel like. The doctors don't know anything about what we are experiencing, mostly I think because they just don't see us as worth the effort, or just don't give a damn. Don, we have our wives and immediate family, and that is about it as far as I can see. And they do almost as much harm as good. It isn't their fault, it's just me and Lewy at work. Like you said, it is only going to get worse. I too hate holidays. I told my wife when she returned home on Saturday, that I didn't want any kind of formal Christmas on Christmas Day. I said I would give her a few present throughout the month when I see something on-line that I think she would like. Safe to say I actually hate holidays now, just another time to realize that my life as it used to be is long, long,, long, long, long gone. Oh, I know you were and are today a warrior. Everybody around me today at CCRC knows me from here, not from before when I was a very successful pain in the butt for people who challenged my clients. Those days are long gone, and in truth I don't miss that part of my former life one damn bit. I hope you can find a little peace and quiet. My wife will never understand how that is so important to me. Bill.