Friday, September 21, 2018

This just came to me...

I had just went to bed, and I was having dizziness because of my Orthostatic Hypotension.  In other words, when I laid down, my Blood Pressures dropped and I got dizzy.  Then I started thinking of my day and how I have to “ACT” like I am normal whenever I am with anyone!  Then the correlation came to me;    Do you remember when you were 18 or 20 years old and your stomach was flat?   Well, what if you had to hold your stomach IN ALL DAY, when ever you were with anyone!!  Even your Wife, Husband, Children, Friends, and strangers!!

Sounds difficult and impossible, bedsides stupid!  But that is how I live my life, only not holding my stomach in but acting like there is nothing wrong with me!!  Why do I have to do this?  I am not really sure.  Maybe because I perceive others expect this of me.  Or, it could be my own vanity or an internal survival reflex.   Whatever the reason, it is exactly how I go through my day, everyday.  I never tell anyone I am having issues, except my Wife and then only in passing.  Instead, I hide behind a facade of smiles, jokes, and pleasantries.  It is exhausting, frustrating, and overwhelming for me.

SO, tomorrow, I want all of you to hold your stomach IN, all day!!!  Try it, you will understand where me and other Dementia patients are.

3 comments:

  1. Don, my solution is to just be me. The outside world gets to see me as I am. Of course, this is one reason I rarely go out in public anymore. Here at the CCRC, the same solution applies. Whenever the top dogs in medical decide it is time for me to go to memory care, then I will go. I could go now, but I prefer not to yet, and also it costs hugely more in terms of monthly fees. The people I am around most of the time here all know I have some type of dementia problem and some type of movement problem. Ain't it all just fun as can be. Bill.

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  2. I agree with Bill. At 65 years of age, I feel like I’ve earned the right to let my wrinkles show, no longer suck in my stomach to make it look flat, and not wear myself out trying to hide my Lewy Body symptoms. I figure letting my symptoms show is my way of educating the public about this awful disease!

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  3. I will kill myself when I get to this point.

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