Tuesday, May 9, 2017


I have not posted since Marcel's passing.  I miss him, tell him it's time to go to bed, and have seen him walking around the apartment a number of times.    His death has impacted me and possibly impacted the progression of my LBD.   Why do I say that?  I wrote about the addition of Clonizapan.  I do not remember how long I took it before the positive effects of the medicine decreased.  But, I then called the Neurologist and asked for an increase in the amount of the drug.  She doubled it and it helped for a couple of days and then stopped working all together.  So, I stopped taking it about 8 days ago.

Coupled with this, I have become more emotional, agitated, and angry.  I stay in our apartment the vast majority of the time and do not socialize very much at all.   I do enjoy watching the squirrels and birds outside of our patio doors.  It is the best show for me to watch.  However, it stops at dusk.

I had a difficult birthday as things did not turn out like we had planned.  So, we stayed in and did nothing.  That depressed me even more.

I have talked to my Wife about these issues, and also have opened up about some issues that have impacted me from my past.   Talking "Navy" is one thing that unwinds me.  But issues that date all the way back to my birth still haunt me.

The bottom line is, I am NOT doing well at all.  The LBD has progressed.  Even my stability walking has gotten worse.  These issues have caused us to cancel our trip back to Virginia since riding in the car is a big agitation for me also!!  

I have always said I will continue to write this Blog until I can no longer do it.   And I will, but I believe I will be posting less, just because I have difficulty expressing what is happening inside of my brain.

More as I can..


  1. You can't just stop taking clonizapan, you will get terrible withdrawal symptoms.
    I took Xanax for two years and it took 7 months of very slow tapering to get off successfully.
    ask your doctor about tapering.

  2. I am so sorry you aren't doing well. Your posts are always so helpful, and I will enjoy them whenever you write them!

  3. Understand, my friend. A lot of stuff going on in your life.

    You are loved.