OK, I admit that the withdrawal form Effexor is difficult. And going to sleep is very difficult and I have had to stay up latter than I want to, to get completely exhausted so I can finally go to sleep. And during that awake time, m mind wanders back through my life. The things I spent the majority of my life doing, and how useless it all seems to be to the world, my fellow citizens, and the people I live with. Yes, when I was living the life of a career Enlisted man was exciting, dangerous, wild, and crazy. And, all of us who served together through the Cold War, Vietnam, Lebanon, Libya, Central America, Iran/Iraq War, and various other then Classified operations believed that what we were doing was important. Now, I am not sure my 66 years were well spent.
The prospect of death changes one's view of their life. At least it has mine. No one really, truly cares, or is interested in what I did. The people I live with don't even believe I am telling the truth when I try to explain what I did. To them, if I did not fly a fighter, I was nothing but a low priced enlisted slave. What I did had no value. To be discarded is the worst fate of all.