Sunday, March 5, 2017

The impact of LBD on the spouse

We live in a retirement community that has a large population of older folks.  Many in very good health, others with serious health issues, and some that deny having serious health issues.  But I have watched how different diseases impact married relationships.   Some couples draw closer together and find new strength to find a way to live with the disease, closer together, more in love.

Yet, some couples fall apart, loose contact, and are no closer that two people that live in the same town.  I see spouses of Dementia patients that protect their spouse and shield them from life.  And I see spouses that dump their spouse in Assisted Living and never visit them.  The travel, go out, enjoy their new freedom, without the anchor of the Dementia Spouse to ruin their lives.   This "Disease Divorce" happens in all debilitating diseases that I see here.  So, Dementia is not the only Disease that causes this.

I completely realize I am difficult to live with.   That is why I asked the Neurologist to give me a medicine to calm me down and let me sleep at night.  And, since my LBD is getting WORSE I, more and more, don't want to be with people.  I refuse telephone calls, don't call people I used too, and do not pay attention to the world around me.  Many nights, I go to bed angry, depressed, and ready to fight anyone for any reason.  Of course, the Clonazapan finally takes hold and I go to sleep.

But soon, hopefully not for another ten months, I will move to the Memory Support Unit in Assisted Living.  I wonder how that will work out.  Right now, i have difficulties  being positive about anything in my life.


  1. My husband, a Korean War vet with PTSD issues as well as LBD took Depakote for many many years. It was the one med that seemed to make any kind of a positive difference in my husband with his anger and mood issues. Of course it had to be adjusted often but that's only because we keep asking meds to work on a diseased brain in the same way it works on a non diseased one. SO what works today might not work tomorrow and vise versa.
    I don't know the personal struggle you feel but I can relate to the spouse one and all I wanted was to try to make my husband comfortable with a good quality of life, whether he wanted it or not. ;-)

  2. Kathy,
    Letting you know again that I'm truly blessed by you having taken the effort to write the historical path you and "hubby" experienced. This blog that Silver Fox writes is as well. I referred a new LBDA forum member to both. I joined last week. I'm going to see a new neurologist soon, hoping to make progress on diagnosis. Frustrating, there are clinical trials going on, but until they confirm probable LBD, I do not qualify, even though I have at least 8-10 symptoms.