Christmas and New Years have always been difficult for me. I do not have the warm, fuzzy, emotions about this time of year. My Christmases were filled with guilt, arguments, and my forever self questioning of why the man who was my biological father never wanted to have anything to do with me.
That being said, again, this Holiday season will be even more difficult for me. We are getting ready to move not our one bedroom apartment, after the first of the year. That requires some downsizing and sorting of old files, belongings, and memories.
Then, my recent blood tests for my doctor's appointment have turned p a potential issue of undetermined origin. It seems my white blood cell count is elevated. It may be nothing. But, add to that a new pain in the left side of my chest when I take deep breaths, a difficulty to get that deep breath, and a history of asbestos exposure and I am sure you can see where I am a little concerned. Now, this may be nothing, but it did come out of nowhere!
The move to the one bedroom was my idea. We really expected to get a one bedroom apartment when we moved in, but the large two bedroom was available and we took it, knowing, it was too expensive. Then some unforeseen financial hits happened and we were very tight. This move will prevent that from happening again, I pray. The move is actually comforting to me, but the process if maddening and anything but smooth. I had expected to be moved by Christmas. But, that will not be the case. Another frustration.
The new apartment, reminds me f the television show, "Tiny House Nation". Yes, technically, since the apartment is 612 square feet it is not a Tiny House. But, downsizing from 1200 to 612 square feet still requires planning, sorting, and reduction of stuff! Once we are moved, I am sure we will be more comfortable, financially and emotionally.
So, once again, health issues and frustration issues are driving my LBD into the limit stops. Oh well, I will probably forget all of this sooner rather than later and all will be right in my world. But, I thought I would let you know I why I had not written a post in a while and how I was doing. More later.