Sunday, October 2, 2016

I have not written in a while! (Edit One!)

I have experienced a series of recent downturns and processing them and learning to deal with these changes has been difficult.  I sleep more than ever before including a 4 hour nap everyday and in bed by 9 PM every night.  Sleep is my escape, such as it is, since I experience very disturbing dreams that cause me to physically act these dream out.

Additionally,  I am experiencing more anger outbursts and I have great difficult controlling my emotional outbursts.  My Wife told me recently, that she appreciated my efforts to control my anger and outbursts.  That means she has observed my problems and has not told me.   Linda protects me that way.

The vision issues continue, as well as my stability issues and memory issues.  The other night, I was angry when I went to bed.  To help me deal with that anger, I searched my memory for the names of my doctors back in Virginia Beach, where I dearly wish I still lived.  I could not remember any of their names,  I started to go through the alphabet to find their names.  I could not remember the alphabet!    Truthfully, I could not sequentially go through the alphabet.  So, my memory issues are getting worse.

You can see how these issues have compounded and the result is more anxiety, anger, and frustration.  My LBD journey has sped up!

One other issue;  Both of my miniature poodles are very old.  The female is over 15 and the male is almost 14.  They both have congestive heart disease and the male has hypothyroidism.  Additionally, the female has degenerative bone disease in her spine, impacting the stability of her rear legs, and her ability to control her bladder.

Cleaning up pee is my job and I am getting overwhelmed by that responsibility.  Additionally, I am their CNA and I administer their medicines.  Both dogs have their way of making it difficult for me to give them their pills.  And that is frustrating!

I am at a decision point about their future.  I love Marcel and I love Cherie.  But they have become too much for me to deal with.  I am overwhelmed.


  1. I am so very sorry. I appreciate so much your honesty and courage in sharing your experience with LBD. Praying for you and your wife.

  2. You always have the courage to tell it like it is. Stray strong my friend. All of us who have Lewy Body and the caregivers need you to keep writing this blog. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife.