I have tried to stay connected with life. I interact with people on the Internet and in person. I write two active blogs and address issues that impact me and my Navy career. I have done my best to stay current, involved, and dedicated to what I believe in as a Christian and as a Warrior.
Recently, it has become very evident that my mental filters are negatively impacting my ability to interact with people in a polite, respectful, manner. Linda and I knew this was coming and we knew my experiences with LBD were getting worse. It is apparent i many ways but socially, it is very apparent in how I react to situations and things people say in person, on the Internet, and on the television.
You may know that I no longer watch politics or most news shows. The impending death of America is too difficult for me to deal with. Many times, people say things that I react with more anger and fire than I should. But, the mechanisms that used to control my emotions are now broke.
I can also see the stress on Linda as she tries to deal with the progression of my disease while keeping me as involved in life as she thinks is good for me. This is always a changing situation.
Even the way I react to the normal actions of our aging miniature poodles is different. Their needs for food, going out, or licking, constantly upset me and stress me.
I am no longer he self-confident man I once was. Instead, every noise, every motion, darkness, even conversation, impact me in a negative way. It is not that those things are different of directed at me in a negative way. Instead, it IS how my LBD effected brain is processing those stimulants. And this is where I am having terrible issues.
I honestly never expected this to be as bad as it has become.
So, what happens next, is a mystery. And while I used to say the changes of LBD were interesting. I now know they are frightening.