Wednesday, May 11, 2016

How things are progressing?

A few things gave been happening that indicate I am going into the final phase of the mental decline of LBD.  For instance, my hallucinations have picked up, became even more realistic, and I now cannot tell hallucinations from reality.

A couple of days ago I saw a beautiful golden retriever running past our sliding glass door, down the driveway of the facility we live in.  The dog had a leash trailing in the breeze.  It was so real, I looked out to see if someone was trying to catch the dog.  I was going to help.  But, no one was there and no dog was there when I looked.

Yesterday I had my weekly discussion with my Best Friend, Jerry.  After our discussion, I was reliving our conversation and realized I ran on, talked about the Navy, and kept repeating myself!  Those weekly calls are my lifeline!!   I have NO one to talk Navy with here.  And since I am the Only Gunner's Mate where i live and maybe in Pensacola, I am truly lonely!!  But, I must drive Jerry nuts!!

Then, today, I took my nap and I had repeated, dreams that got more and more violent.  I was trapped, could not breath, and I had the feeling I was going to die!!  When I finally woke up, for the third or fourth time, I got UP and stayed up!  And even sitting in my recliner, working on Solitaire on my IPAD, I still had the frightening feelings of my dreams!

Yesterday, I did not take my morning  pills.  I found that out at 5PM.  I took them then and I was supposed to take my night pills when I went to bed, but I did not.  My Wife forgot to remind me, and I forgot.  So, I am seemingly out of control of my meds now.

Truthfully, I now feel completely out of control of my life.  Furthermore, I know I have no hope of regaining control of my life.

So, as I see it, this is the next and possibly final phase of my mental issues.  My memory is failing, I am repeating myself, and I am now having major issues telling hallucinations from reality.  Not to mention, I am frightened even when I am awake.

And, for all of you who tell me I write well and seem perfectly normal, just as people tell me I do not appear to have any dementia, I reply;  As I write this, I have been up two hours from the dreams, I am now wide awake and mostly aware of my situation.  It is daylight, my wife is home, the television is on, everything is familiar and I feel safe.  LBD is known for it's ups and downs.  And I suffer from those issues, in spades!!

One other things came to mind.   I no longer want to talk to most people.  I LOVE and DEPEND on my weekly talks with Jerry.  And, my Son calls me when he travels for work and I like those calls.  But, no relatives call me!  CJ Tim, and Steve call once in a while and I like their calls.  But I am really getting reclusive.  And if you knew me, you would know I WAS an extrovert.  No more.

So, we will see what the future brings!  Nothing good, I am sure.

2 comments:

  1. Hello Mr. and Mrs. Silverfox. M stubbornness wanted me to reach out to you one more time, hahaha. I made a video about the natural treatment plan I designed.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isZH2BQsSr8

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  2. Suffering from a long term disease and can't find a real solution for the disease by using pills or medicines just try some Home Remedies for that disease. Home remedies are the best way to get rid of any disease. Becausue home remedies have no side effects and you can take them regularly and treat the disease permanently.






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