Yesterday's aspiration event has left me feeling weak and tired. But, I am also feeling mentally diminished I feel like I have been dropped another mental level and my wife has noticed it also. I am not sure if this will last, but it is definitely here right now.
I used my inhaler again today to clear out my lungs again. I feel weak and sluggish. But the real issue is how this impacted my outlook. The truth is, death lurks closely around any dementia patient, especially when a dementia patient is in the second half of the game as I am. I am not frightened by death, I am a Born Again Believer and I trust in God's promise. But, I have never died before, so I am frightened of the process of death. I have a friend in California. She is the widow of a Navy friend and mentor. She took care of her Father and Mother in their old age. Her father had a heart attack and was without any vital signs for a period until the paramedics revived him. When Chester woke up, he asked Cathy; "What happened?" She said: "You died!" Chester replied: "That wasn't too hard." I think I will dwell on Chester's experience.
have had a very good first half of my LBD journey. I have NO complaints. But, the second half is picking up steam and my symptoms are getting worsts and more frequent. My energy levels are low and my desire to do anything is very little. I have lost most of my desire to fight and my interest in anything worldly. I still enjoy, immensely, serving God in any capacity He presents. For instance today, while walking in the hallway, the staff Chaplain, Jim Dietz said to me; "I need you to preach two weeks in June." I was immediately excited!
So, I will accept each day as a new opportunity to serve God, knowing that each time may be the last. I spend as much time with the love of my life, my wife Linda. She watches over me like a hawk. But she knows the score too, yet she never voices it. Much like the manager of a team that is loosing badly. She always looks for the rally!
Again, it has been a great journey and I have been blessed to communicate my journey to all who read this Blog. I deeply appreciate your comments and readership. I will keep writing as long as I can. Don;