Monday, April 25, 2016

Loss of control of my life

I realized tonight, in my nightly sundowning that I have lost control go my life.  I cannot do anything on my own.    I cannot drive, so I cannot go anywhere only own.  Even haircuts are dictated!  The lady that works in the beauty parlor also cuts men's hair.   She tries, but the person that cuts our poodles hair could do better.   But, I cannot go out and find a barber shop and my wife is certainly NOT interested in that search.  We will spend hours finding anything she is interested in, but, none for me.  I don't drive.

Then there is what we do.  If it is not something the wife likes to do, it does not happen.   So, I peruse few gun stores and even my occasional trip to the local gun show is short because I ride with my son and his schedule is always full.

There was a time that I had my own vehicle, and I went places alone.  Shooting competitions, Gun Shows that were 250 miles away, or visits to friends in the area.  Now, I am restricted to barracks.

Now, I do have a social life here at Azalea Trace and I cherish that.  I enjoy my billiards days and I enjoy conversations with the other residents I am friendly with.

But, I still have to meet certain conditions that my wife, intelligently imposes on my when I am out of the apartment.  Like;  DO I have my emergency button with me, do I have my cell phone with me, when will I be home, and where am I going.  All of this is prudent considering my condition, but it still causes me issues, because I am not in charge of myself like I was before LBD.

I realize I am more free than I will be this time next year.  But, the restrictions still rankle me.  And I would really love a good haircut!

1 comment:

  1. My daughter located your blog yesterday and shared the link. I am so grateful to have found such a courageous and caring person sharing your journey with LBD. My husband was diagnosed last year, we spouses and loved ones who are trying to deal with this illness are not equipped with first hand knowledge on what to expect or how to react. We too are stumbling along not knowing what LBD has in store on any given day. Because of your courageous caring and sharing you are equipping unknown numbers of us with information that can only come from someone living the journey. Thank you. Many blessings to you; God must be smiling at your ministry to LBD sufferers and their loved one.