Wednesday, February 24, 2016

The difference in living prospectives between caregiver and LBD patient

Being a LBD patient that is still able to understand what my wife is dealing with, I see the difference in prospective we both have about life.  Now, I am not sure how long I will have this insight in that the speed of the progression of my LBD has increased.  There are times, now, where I not only cannot see her point of view, but I am angered by her point of view!!

So, my prospective of my future life is very negative!   I have recently began to feel my life expectancy is very short.  Because of that, I do not have goals, a list of things to do, or any reason why I should save anything for a future that I will not have.   I want to do what ever I want to do with my time, without notice, planning, or reason!   I want to eat what I want, sleep when I want, and do what I want.  I realize this must be maddening to my OCD wife.

She, on the other hand, has a long term plan, long range goals, and is willing to wait for things to happen.   I am sure she gets frustrated over my prospective on life.  But, some of that frustration comes from her inability to see my prospective.  What can't she see my prospective.  Because she loves me and wants me to be alive, with her, forever.

But, the truth is, my perspective is more realistic.

Another issues is, I would be more comfortable in Assisted Living where they provide all three meals, my meds, and we still have a private apartment.  But, my Wife believes that environment would stifle her, and she may be correct.

So, we live with these opposite perspectives on life.   If you are a LBD caregiver or patient, you will have these fundamental differences.   The goal is to manage both perspectives and keep peace in the family. The caregiver most likely had the best perspective, seeing that they will most likely survive the LBD patient.

But, the caregiver also needs to understand the perspective of the LBD patient.  In my case, I am worn out, in pain, and I mentally diminished.  Much of the time, I feel like I am not here.  And, that coupled with my perception that my life expectancy is short, changes how I see life and what I want to do with my life.   And doing things for the sake of doing things, is off my plan.

I need to close this post now, because I am loosing track of my thoughts and emotions.  It happens, often.




2 comments:

  1. I am going through the same thing.I read some of your blog today for the first time and it was reassuring. Being trapped by LBD is hell. Zyack

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am going through the same thing.I read some of your blog today for the first time and it was reassuring. Being trapped by LBD is hell. Zyack

    ReplyDelete