Wednesday, January 6, 2016

I can't remember what I used to do!

The Television series "NCIS" had an episode, a few seasons ago, that featured Bob Newhart as a former NCIS medical officer, like Ducky, that had retired and now had Alzheimer's.  The episode focused on the fact that the "Old Medical Officer" could not remember what he did or how important what he did was.   That episode touched my heart and emotions.

Mentally, I live in my Navy past.  Up to now, I have been able to clearly remember my Navy past.  Lately, I have had difficulty putting my Navy thought in order.  I am even forgetting my in-depth knowledge of the MK 42 5"/54 Gun Mount!  I also understand the idea of loosing the importance of what I did.

Don't miss understand me, I was not a hero, a great leader, or an exceptional technician.  But, as the GMG Detailer, a Command Master Chief, a Gunner's Mate, an Instructor at Gun School, I did the best I could and I helped may Sailors become better at what they did.  But, much of that is slipping away from me.

With that loss, comes a loss of my self-esteem!  I used to be able to do most anything.  Now, there is very little I can do because of physical and mental failures.  Once, while tearing down an old shed at tour Virginia Church, I cut the beam my ladder was leaning on!  Me, the Electric Saw, the beam, and the ladder all came down in a heap.  After that, my neurologist told me; "NO more power tools!"  Heck, I can't even perform sexually anymore.  So, you can see how LBD robs me, and others of their self worth.

My disease is progressing, faster than ever, and I am loosing who I was while I am loosing my cognitive abilities.  I used to say, this was an interesting disease.  No more.  LBD is rendering me impotent in life.

Thanks NCIS, for telling my story!

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