I saw a statistic that more people die during the Christmas- New Year Holiday that any other period of the year. Stress is a major contributor to that statistic. But, it is even more difficult for those who have Dementia of any type.
I have never enjoyed Christmas. Even as a child it was terribly painful for me. Not that I did not get many wonderful presents. But that I always was aware that I was the only person in the room with my last name! No one had to say that, I knew and it hurt.
I have never recovered or dealt with that pain and it had carried on through my life. Now today, all my depressing thoughts are magnified by the LBD! Then there are the new mental "boogie men" that haunt me all the time. Things like noise, the direction of our nation, my wife's compulsive nature, financial issues, and all my failures of the past. Then there are the memories and thought of those who have gone on before us. Our grandparents, parents, friends, shipmates, and school mates.
So, while stress is always with my, it is magnified manifold during this time of the year. That super multiplied stress can be reflected in higher blood pressure that can lead to strokes and heart attacks.
Then there are suicides. People with Dementia's of any type are much more susceptible to the mental breakdown that leads to suicide. The hustle and bustle of the Christmas-New Year Holiday period is crushing for those with normal mental coping skills. For those with Dementia, and I speak from experience, the hustle and bustle is crippling!
The other issue is that those without Dementia DO NOT UNDERSTAND what the Dementia sufferer is experiencing. They bang and clang around, pushing their own agenda without respect or consideration for the one who is unable to deal with all the confusion and drama. And, since those of us with Dementia, or at least me, are always trying to control they emotions because if we loose control, we will end up in a facility that limits our freedom to what we take in or coffee, we don't say anything about how things are impacting us, until we either explode or retreat into our safe room, whether that is a real room or a mental breakdown that leads to social withdrawal.
While I have not discussed this with anyone, and I do not want to either, I am experiencing issues with dealing with every one's personal agendas and drama. Look, if something does not go exactly right, the world will not end. Everything is fixable. So why stress about things! Your stress makes me incredibly upset, and I hold that in!
I have said before that I had entered the Second Half of my LBD journey. I need to add to that and tell you I am late in the Third Quarter. Linda and I have seen a number of changes and symptoms getting worse. I am experiencing more instability. My emotional roller coaster is not off the chart. Even though she sees and observes these changes, and she does understand them, the still lives in denial! She loves me and wants me to be me, forever. To think in any other manner for her is inconceivable. I love that is her and I understand her emotions on this. But, the truth is the truth.
So, while this is a bumpy, depressing, time of the year for me, this one is exponentially worse. I am not surprised. I expected this. But, that does not make is easier for me or Linda.
I don't know what else I can say.