Saturday, November 21, 2015

Last night...

After my post last might, I sat in my recliner quietly, surfing the web, and slowly calming down.  My wife asked me how I was doing around 11PM and I said; "Better".   She then asked me what cause my issue and for some reason, I felt safe in explaining it to her.

She was very attentive and then she said;  "You have to tell me these things."   I told her that I never tell her because she would get upset at me. She explained that if I tell her, she can try to change her behavior that is causing me issues!  That was refreshing, since I still have scars from the bite marks cause my previous statements.

I guess I will try to tell her when she is doing something that negatively impacts me, in soft, polite, manner.  I agree that she cannot change something if I do not tell her about it.  Makes sense.

Communication is always better than quiet brooding.

3 comments:

  1. Great relationship advice, happy thanksgiving to you both

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  3. Hi, Silverfox.

    I've only recently discovered your blog, but have now read most of your posts from 2015. Fascinating stuff - and, whether you know it or not, you must be helping a LOT of people.

    One thought re the above post - though I have to admit, I'm no expert!

    Men and women sometimes get on well, and sometimes we don't. This is WITHOUT either having LBD!

    I read some great advice in a book called 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'. There was a guy who'd get home from work, whose wife would immediately start telling him about the problems she'd faced during the day. He'd do his best to listen, but struggled; and they'd both get annoyed - him because she was 'dropping her problems' on him; her because she didn't feel valued.

    The advice to the guy was to straight away say 'You and your problems matter to me; but I need time to let go of my day before I can give you the attention you deserve. Can we talk about this in half an hour?'

    This stuck with me, I think because the key was for the guy not to blame his wife, but to admit there was an issue he had to deal with himself first.

    I don't know if that's helpful, but I hope so.

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