Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Courageous? Not me, I am scared out of my wits!

Someone sent me a comment thanking me for being so courageous.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  And if I portray myself as brave or courageous as I face LBD, forgive me, because I am scared to death!

Yes, I write about what is happening to me.  Why, because it helps me deal with my issues and I truly believe it may help others.  But, I am scared over the future.   That is one of the reasons I plan, project, research, and worry so much.  You don't see my tears or my fearful thoughts, especially at night when I am alone with my thoughts.

I was brave, or stupid, either one, when I was a Navy Gunner's Mate and we would have a casualty in the gun mount that would involve ammunition, ready to explode.  Then, my knowledge, training, and wits could help me survive.  Now, there is no survival.  Only a slow decline into oblivion.  And now I know, as I did when I was working around enough explosives to sink my own ship, that only GOD is in control of my life.

Me courageous?  Not really.  But I do helplessly depend on GOD for my future.  I recommend that plan for each of you too.

1 comment:

  1. "Helplessly depend on GOD for my future.." That's the best plan around, if we could only trust Him and let go...enjoying this blog, thanks again