Friday, November 6, 2015

And another thing!!

The circumstances of my birth, and the fact that people, alive, with hold facts about my Father and Blood related relatives is a great source of frustration and pain for me.  I have blood related brothers and sisters that will not have anything to to with me, even though they have NEVER spoken to me or met me in person.

I know my Mother was pregnant out of wedlock.  That makes me a Bastard.  I know that.  It is not my fault.  My birth Father, Donald Andrew Dolence, of Cleveland Ohio and his parents, my Grand Parents paid my Mother $10,000 to go away and never contact them again.   never saw any of that money and did not know about it until I was 31 years old.  Hell, I never knew my Mother had 3 other children, out of wedlock after me.  Yet, she blamed me for; "sucking the calcium out of her body that resulted n her having bad teeth."  Her words, not mine.

Look, I was blessed to be raised by Mom and Dad Mills.  They did so without compensation and never had legal papers on me until I was 16.  They did a magnificent job raising ma and I will be eternally grateful.  I was a success because of God and their teaching.  But, I would truly love to talk to people actually related to me.

For instance, what health problems did my Father have?  After all, he died at 63!  I don't want they inheritance, as if the Dolence family has an inheritance.  I just want a chance to know them.

Before Lewy Body Dementia, I had a thin=ck skin about this, at least on the outside.  It truly has always hurt on the inside.  But now, I am raw with emotion about o many things. And this is one of the biggies.

I have a half brother, Donald Andrew Dolence Jr, of Westlake Ohio.  If you know him, have him contact me.  I tried and failed.  It is like I am a pariah or something.

You can see how things now get to me.  Or better, how I am now not filtering the things that ALWAYS got to me.  Good old Lewy Body strikes again.

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