Monday, October 26, 2015

Lack of control of ANGER!

It is interesting how LBD impacts my ability to control my anger.  I have aways had a "Healthy" anger.  I have always been able to "Spin Up" at a minutes notice.  And when I was "Spun Up" my anger was directed at the individual or individuals that caused me to be angry.  That all seems pretty normal.

Now, my anger seems to be directed within.  I tend to hold my anger in and do not scream, yell, strike out, or use profanity.  I do not threaten to harm anyone or take any aggressive actions.  Instead, all of this is directed inside.  Thus, there is no relief of the pressure and stress caused by my anger.  There is never any relief.

Some of this may be caused by a self defense mechanism in that I try to maintain a calm and cool exterior to prevent me from loosing my freedom.  I never worried about that before.  Now, they have something to use against me, my disease.

Some may also be caused by my total discuss with America, our so called, leaders, and the direction of our broken, defeated, country.

If I have my wish, I would live in a one room, cement cabin, on 20 acres, in the uninhabited part of South Dakota, alone.  People only anger and disappoint me.

Thank goodness I can hide in my bed, and I think I will.

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