Saturday, October 10, 2015

An open post about my nights and life with LBD

It has been a tough day.  And tonight is even more difficult.  My life and how I live it has changes SO much in the last few months that I do not recognize myself.  It is true.  I looking the mirror and don't recognize who is looking back.

My mobility is becoming diminished.  We were shopping a day or so ago and I almost fell down an escalator!  Now, I was VERY careful getting on, held the handrail, and watched everything I did, but, my left arm gave way and collapsed and down I went!   Not far, but I went down on one knee and almost went over.

I have written before about how LBD has taken things from my life.  Physical things, mental things, that were important parts of my life, are now gone.   Or if not gone, so degraded they are no fun anymore.

Last night, we went to a Fund Raising Dinner here at Azalea Trace.  It was a wonderful evening with great entertainment.   I spent some time talking to a gentleman that I knew by sight and that had just moved into Assisted Living.  I did not know he had Dementia until he told me.  He and I briefly discussed our issues but I really am going to try to visit him for a longer, more in-depth, discussion this week. I am more comfortable talking to Dementia patients than other people.

This post obviously has taken a couple of days.  I was so overwhelmed last night that I closed my laptop and went to bed!  But the intermission has reinforced my views of life with LBD.   Things I did, and took for granted, I can no longer do!  I am only 64 and I never thought these things would be lost to me at this young age.

I am going to post this, even though it is not complete or even cohesive.  But, it illustrates how disorganized my thought process is.  When I started writing this, I was upset, and had this article in my mind ready to write.  That went out the window somewhere.  It also illustrates my frustration and mental anguish over the losses related to LBD.  President Reagan said Alzheimer's was the Long Good By.  It is a Long Good By to those you love as well as to yourself and who you used to be.


  1. I just wanted to let you know that I am reading this, and that you are not alone. I am a 20 year-old college student with no concrete ties whatsoever to LBD except for an interest/curiosity, and I just wanted to perhaps provide you with some comfort by telling you that you're not just shouting into the abyss. I am listening, and my heart breaks for you and your wife, but you are not alone.

  2. Ui, I can say the same for this blogger, I came across this blog out of curiousity as well, you are not alone, my heart goes out to you and your wife, Silverfox..prayers to you