Saturday, September 26, 2015

I have lost the ability to learn new skills!

We live in a wonderful Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC) called Azalea Trace.  I know I have written about it before.  The residents here do many of the more skill related everyday chores as volunteers for the community.  It truly amazes me what they do and how much they add to the lives of the residents in Independent Living as well as Assisted Living and Skilled Care.

For instance, my wife uses her Library Masters Degree in the large Library Azalea Trace has.  I Preach as a stand in for the Staff Chaplain on Tuesdays in Skilled Care.  Recently, I took on the responsibility to make signs and name tags for the community employees, residents and activities.  The equipment they uses is computerized and very up to date.  The individual that has been in charge of this task has done an exceptional job and took great pains to train me.

However, I have had a recent down turn and tonight I came to the realization that I just cannot master this skill.  I can't even manage my time in getting to the shop.  It seems my time just slips through my fingers.

As a further illustration, to me, that I just cannot learn this task, tonight I went down to the shop and tried to make some name tags.  I did OK on the computer part, but when it came time to set up the engraving machine, I screwed up!  I damaged the mat that holds the tag for engraving!  I just could not remember how to do what Oscar taught me to do, twice.

So, I came back to our apartment, realizing I am now a Cognitive Invalid.  I cannot learn anything new.  My brain will not retain new information and I cannot move new info into my hands for application!!

I typed a letter of resignation explaining my situation to Oscar.  I hate failure and I hate letting Oscar down.  But, I cannot do what I cannot do.

I have written recently about being in the second half of this disease, and this further illustrated my demise.   So, as my Wife said, we will focus on what I can do.  She always finds a way to make things good.

But, there is more...

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