Monday, August 10, 2015

Dreams, out of control

I have written before how realistic my dreams are.  I have also written about how my realistic dreams melt into my waking hours.  Recently my dreams have been about loosing my car!   Not loosing my driving privileges, but loosing my car and cannot find it!

It is unnerving for me to wake up wondering where my car is!  In my dream, I am walking around the city, looking for my car.  Checking parking lots, parking garages, lots behind buildings and always in the dark!  It is very upsetting.

Fear is becoming more and more a theme in my dreams and in my life.  If you knew me before, you would know I was not afraid of many things.  Yes, poisonous snakes freaked me out then and now.  And I am not too comfortable with spiders and ticks.  But, dangerous ordnance, heavy seas, high pressure hydraulics, electricity, fast moving equipment, people, drunks, and most dangerous situations including guns and combat, did not frighten me in the least.

Now, being out in the dark, riding in a car, unfamiliar surroundings, strangers, and many other things that once were not a threat are now a major source of fear!!  Then, add my frightening dreams and you can see my issue.

Then add a new emotion of my future and I am not doing too well.  You see, I realize things are progressing and my health is deteriorating.  BP issues, irregular heartbeat, inability to control my body temperature, and muscle issues that cause mobility problems.  After five years with LBD, we are on a definite downhill slide.

I have a lot on my plate and my dreams and emotions seem to become even more of an issue.  But, I guess it is just where I am at this time.

More later.

1 comment:

  1. Hello
    Wanted to let you know that your article is included in the dementia “Symptom Perspectives” monthly links tonight, September 30, 2015
    I would like to thank you for sharing your lived experience. My hope is that these words and projects can become valuable resources for change in relationships, treatment, and policies.
    Much thanks,