Tonight, as I do on most Sunday evenings, I played billiards with some of the men here at Azalea Trace. It is a great social outlet for me. The men I play with are exceptional gentlemen and good teachers. All in all, I enjoy this activity.
But, I see the confusion of my LBD creeping into even my billiards. From one game to the next, I cannot remember anything. Who one, how to make shots, or even what balls we are shooting at. It is very confusing and depressing. Not because I was once a great billiards player, but that I once had a almost photographic memory! And now, I can't remember if I zipped my fly.
I have commented before about my recent cognitive degradation. For instance, I was disoriented at Church today. Now, that is not totally out of the ordinary since we have a growing congregation and being in a crowd causes me issues. But, it also illuminates the downward progress of my condition.
The first few years of this journey have been slow. Yes, there were ups and downs, but the progress was slow. Now, we see that speeding up. I guess it makes sense since we are now in the second half of this disease progression.
My son called tonight as he often does. He always asks me how am doing and I always tell him I am fine. He knows I am not being completely open about my issues, but he needs to know I am fine with where this is going. Yes, it upsets and depresses me. But, I am also dealing with it the best way I can.
So, that's my report of where I am. It is becoming more difficult for me to convey my thoughts and emotions about this journey. Some of the emotions are too deep and too personal to write about. I will try to continue to write and keep you up to dat on my journey. Thanks for being there.