Thursday, April 9, 2015

I have something to say!

Yes, I have something to tell each of you that I know you do not want to hear.  But, it is part of dealing with my journey with Lewy Body Dementia.

I had a neurologist in Virginia that asked me; "Have you dealt with your disease yet?"  I quickly replied; "Yes!"  She quickly replied; "Bullshit!  No you haven't!"  She was right.  Now, four years later, and much farther down the road called Lewy Body Dementia, that question came back into my mind during this recent grumpy, agitated, angry, phase.  While alone with myself, arguing with my disease, it came to me;  "I am going to die!"  OK, someone pick my Son up and revive him!  He is still in denial and that statement probably sent him to the deck!  But, it is true.

Since Linda and I have seen my disease progress over the last couple months, I have more and more, realized this disease, LBD, will lead to my death.  Now, that is somewhat of a surprise seeing that I always thought I would die in a blaze of glory in a gun mount on a ship!  We all know that did not happen.

But, Psalm 139 tells us; All the days of my life were written in God's book before we were formed in our mother's womb.  So, God is not surprised about anything including our death!  My Dad, who was not a religious man at all, used to say;  "On the back of your Birth Certificate is you Death Certificate, all filled out, in invisible ink!"

So, relating to Dr. Fuentes in Virginia, Yes, I now have fully dealt with the reality of my disease.  I realize it will lead to my death, sooner than later.  I realize I am further down the road that I was four years ago.  And I realize, that my death will happen.  When, I cannot say.  Remember, it is written in invisible ink!  Goof thing God can read invisible ink!

1 comment:

  1. That was your best post ever. Being told and knowing in your heart are very different. For the families it can be even harder to grasp.we are all going to die and yet we don't really seem to believe it.