I wrote yesterday that we had been offered a place at a Continuing Care Retirement Community. I also said, even though we did a prequel, we now have to go under the financial microscope. Linda and I have been looking at the costs and our income, and it does not compute!! Now, we have money in IRA's that will help, but this place is expensive. Plus there is the entrance fee, which is not cheap. As a matter of fact, it is the cost of a good home! Cash, up front!
I have also written about the fact that I do not run our budget and the discussion of money and finances causes me extreme anxiety. So, tonight, I am in serious distress.
I am writing this now as therapy. Yes, you are my therapy group.
The fact remains, that I need to get into a CCRC soon. My mental cognition and my ability to deal with life has degraded lately and if we do not get me accepted soon, I will be at the mercies of the nursing home shuffle. In other words, I will have to go where ever they have room and will accept me. So, now is the best plan. As I said yesterday, I THINK I can pass their cognitive skills test. If I am having a good day!
My first reaction to Linda's declarations about our budget was to say; We don't qualify, we can't do this, and we are not going to live there!! That caused her some problems because she worries about me. She told me she needed me in a facility that will meet hers and my needs as soon as possible. I believe she understands where I am and where I am going, mentally.
So this is a very expensive decision. But, it is expensive in money and human capitol not to take this opportunity.
I did tell you we had retirement savings to fall back on, but that causes my wife issues because she has always had the idea that money would never be spent! My belief is, why DID we save that money?!! What is the purpose of living frugally all your life, and then, not using the money you saved for retirement IN your retirement???!
This topic causes me BIG mental issues!! I am now so overwhelmed that I have bounced in and out of "Dark Place" in my mind. Honestly, if my condition causes such a financial burden that we cannot afford to live the way we believe we should, ,,! Well, hopefully you can see my frustration and depression.
Finances and budget have become issues I do not want to know about. If I spent our money on Corvettes, or other unneeded things, I might be at fault. Yes, I have bought and sold more homes than the average man. But, with the exception of the last house in Virginia, which I did not want to buy, we made money on every home!
Well, I am just venting. God offered us this opportunity, He would NOT put us in a position that would ruin us. So, we will go forward and trust God. But, I don't want to hear about budgets again.