I have commented before about how real my dreams are. Many times, I wake up, continuing what I was doing in the dream. Then, long into the day, I realize I was "Chasing a Dream" in reality.
I have had a continuing dream theme that has be owning and operating a large motor yacht. I am at the helm and we are going at a breakneck speed. No matter what I do, how I turn the wheel, or adjust the throttles, I cannot control the boat or direct it's course. Then, I see a pier, and I am obviously going to crash into it! Then, BANG!! I crash into the pier in a ball of flame and explosions! And I wake up.
Today, as I was drifting into the relaxation of my afternoon nap, that dream came to mind and I began to ponder what the meaning of this dream was. Never before had I ever thought about this dreams meaning. Nor, was it ever evident to me. But today, the meaning became very evident to me.
The dream's meaning is loss of control, and specifically loss of the control of my life. LBD has robbed me of that which I cherished for so many years of my life. For most of my adult life, I have controlled where I went, what I did, and even the course of my career. I thought! Of course, I now know that God is in control of my life. I also know that all the days of my life were predestined and recorded in God's book before I was formed in my Mother's womb!
Those of us with any dementia, will, eventually loose control of our lives. But, truthfully, we never have control of our lives. That personal control is just a mirage in our minds. And I have learned that there is "Peace" in understanding the fact that we are never in control and surrendering control to God is the answer to inner peace. Now, that dream will no longer haunt me. I am at peace with my disease and the results of it. Now there is knowledge worth having!