This disaster has shown me how much of me LBD has taken. All my life, I was tyne man people came to when things got bad. When I was in the Navy, and a Gunner's Mate, I dealt with extremely dangerous situations. I was always calm, in charge, and precise in what I did and what I directed others to do. Now, I am unable to do anything!
I find myself angry, frightened, and wanting to run away. I sleep almost all of the time and even then I do not escape my disease. I dream of being lost, most in my mind, and unable to find my way home. No one around me understands what I am going through. They all see my anger but do not understand my emotions.
My routine is completely disrupted. My wife is trying to restore my routine but she is more dedicated to helping the family and I totally understand that. She is doing what I used to do. Good for her. I am proud of her and angry at myself.
My wife gets angry at my outbursts and my sleeping. I am a frustration to her and a liability to everyone around me. Truthfully, I do not know what to do or where to turn. I am sorry that I am causing my family problems in their time of need.
I truly do not know hat to do or where to turn. LBD has stripped me of who I was. This is the new norm and I don't like it.