Monday, April 28, 2014

Anger and rage just wash over me

I truly wish I could look into my brain and see where the tangles of Lewy Body are effecting me.  Why, because for the last couple of weeks, rage and anger have been washing over me in increasing amounts and times!  I am still able to control it and I did make my neurologist aware of this development.   He told my wife to let him know if anything got worse or changed.  She has not called him yet.

One way I deal with this rage and anger is to go to bed.  The solitude and isolation help me cope and reduce the emotions I feel.  Quiet, dark, alone, no interaction with anyone.  Just me and the poodles.  It works for now and I hope it continues to help.

I am trying very hard to avoid taking any medicines for this condition since I know they will have a negative impact on my awareness.  And I take so many drugs now, that I really am reticent to add anything to my regimen.

We know that emotional outbursts are part of LBD.  That does not make it any easier on Linda.  The rage and anger make me feel bad after the episode, even if I say noting that upsets her.  Keeping these emotions in is just as bad for me as an outburst is for her.

I can see where placing me in a facility, separate from her, might be good for her.  I must say I am not looking forward to that, but I know it is coming.  Again, our hope is that the CCRC will become available before I absolutely require professional care.  I guess I am not a candidate yet.  Since I can still discuss the topic without emotion.

So, another LBD issue increases and becomes a driver instead of a side issue.  What next?!

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