I wrote earlier today about my mistakenly taking my poodle's levothyroxine. That mishap has lead to a very stressful and depressing day. This is the day, that the reality of LBD hit me like a ton of bricks! Today is the first time I actually had the emotion; "Why me?"
Now before you write me and give me a lecture on "Why me?", let me help you. I know God chose me to have LBD before I was formed in my Mother's womb. He also chose me to be born out of wedlock, raised by loving people not related to me, and to become the youngest Master Chief in the history of the Navy. I know it is God's perfect plan. That being said, I still am presently overwhelmed with the "Why me?" emotion.
Today we also started to fill out the financial questionnaire for Azalea Trace, a continuing care facility in Pensacola. That has left me feeling like we do not have enough money coming in to cover the cost of living there. Even though we were assured we would. The fact is, we may not. It remains to be seen.
That would leave me in the Armed Forces Retirement Home and my wife in an undetermined location and care. This was not a good day. The stress of trying to prudently plan for our future, has left me depressed.
Even though we saved and lived below our means for most of our married life, we may have missed the mark. That had added tons of stress and emotion to our lives. The recent down turn in my disease has illuminated a number of issues that we did not adequately address. Maybe we were in denial. But we certainly are not now.