Most if not all of you understand that LBD is a disease that hammers you one day and you feel almost normal the next. That is frustrating for the patient and the caregiver. But, it is a defining symptom of LBD.
It seems to me that the fluctuations had increased in frequency and magnitude over the last few months. I have felt like moving to my concrete home on 40 acres and live without assistance, independently and then, just as quickly, I feel like I need to be in a memory support facility immediately! Again, you can see how frustrating this is for all concerned. But, more and more, I realize that I will never I've independently again.
This realization has really effected me. For instance, I love cars, pick up trucks, campers, motorcycles, and anything else with wheels and an engine. The realization that I will never purchase a vehicle for my primary use again, has hit me hard. I have described my indecision over future living accommodations. But again, I know, more and more, that we need to be in a facility that has the capability to deal with my issues now and in the future.
I used to say that I wanted to retire before I was drooling on my shirt and wetting my pants. I did, and I am glad that we were able to do that. Because now, half of that statement is a reality! So again, I am being reminded on a daily basis that independently living is a thing of the past for me.
Just the same, I am sure that I will have another fluctuation where I am pricing out a new truck and property in the country! My wife understands and "Humors" me. She know this will pass, soon.
Just in the time I have spent writing this post, my mental outlook and attention has slipped and I am having difficulty concentrating on what I want to say. That is a constant struggle for me that my wife and I notice more and more. It effects everything I do. We notice it even when I am conducting our Bible study at the local assisted living facility. Thank God, those folks understand!