Monday, October 21, 2013

Am I all that difficult to be around? Or is it me?

I have said before that when the sun goes down, I have emotional and mental difficulties.  I have also commented on my view of how people close to me appear to treat me.  Now, I am questioning my own thoughts and comprehension of how people treat me.  Can I be the problem?  Am I reading an attitude that is not there?

You have probably heard the statement; Just because I am Paranoid does not mean they are not all out to get me!   Am I Paranoid?  I have told you about how I view the people here in East LA, the Panhandle of Florida, as clannish, unfriendly, and aloof.  Could it be my misreading them?  Even my wife, seems distant and gruff with me in the evenings.  That is certainly not her manner with me normally, but recently, that is what I observe.  Again, are my observations valid?

Could my mind be playing tricks on me?  In the past, I have accused family members of following me and spying on me.  No one has convinced me they were not!  Yet, this recent feeling of dislike I am feeling may be just my Sun Downing impacting my ability to understand people.  Days seem fairly normal, but the evenings are a totally different matter.

I feel disconnected from those around me.  I have commented to my wife that feel like I am somewhere else.  Not really here.  I know that is hard to understand.  But things seem different in my perception.

My days are jumbles of events that I try to replay in my mind before I go to sleep.  Many times that replay frustrates me.  Maybe I am reading too much into this issue.   Or maybe I am the issue!


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