I wrote a few hours ago about being overwhelmed over a leak caused by the recent shower remodel. I know most people would not be bothered in the least about a problem that already had a solution. After all, their work is warranted, in writing! But, it still sent me into depression and fight or flight.
Now, after mowing the lawn to calm down, I feel better. And yes, Bath Fitters already fixed the problem. But, I am still effected by the event. Little things seem to take over my life! I get angry, depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, sad, and introverted when something goes wrong. My wife is beginning to understand how much these things impact me. I realize it is hard for someone not effected by LBD to understand why I get so effected by little things.
I am still coherent enough to express my feelings but not coherent enough describe how thing impact me! My wife will ask me; "What's wrong?" And I will reply, nothing, or I'm OK, or better yet, "I can't describe it to you." This frustrates her and rightly so. But, I really can't find the words to express myself or, I really don't remember what started my downward spiral. Recently, I have been able to take some time to reconstruct the events that lead me to my melt down or depressive episode. But, I am not always able to do that either.
I do know that I really would like to reduce the potential stressors in my life. But that idea causes my vibrant wife problems because she does not want to live in a controlled atmosphere. She is still fully functioning and not bothered by the little things in life. I do not know the outcome of this dilemma. Time will tell.
For now, all I can do is express my problems in the best way possible and be as understanding as I can about the impact of my condition on my wife and family.