Monday, September 23, 2013

Life's Important Changes

I am still amazingly connected to life most of the time.  Yes, I have my moments and evenings are not my friend.  But, I still can logically approach issues and make my preferences known.   I do have problems making decisions!  That is part of the "Executive Function" of my mind being "broke".  Just like the part of my brain that keeps me from acting out my dreams.  Just ask my wife!
So, making decisions about how and where we will live in the near future is beyond me.

We have been discussing our options for three days.  Stay in our home, move to a continuing care facility, seniors apartments, the Navy Home for me.   Unlike families that have to make a quick decision to place a family member in an Assisted Living Facility or a Skilled Nursing Facility, we have the luxury of time, for a short, unknown period.   That may make this decision harder instead of easier!

We do not want to be a burden to our Son and Daughter in Law.  We need to consider the future health issues of both of us.  So that really rules out the Navy Home.  Now, if I get a call telling me I have a room there tomorrow, it might impact our decision.  But, that call is probably a year off.   We also need to preserve our savings.  

Another issue is quality of life!   The upkeep of a home is a never ending job.  Now we have a beautiful new home but termites, leaking showers, landscaping, lawn equipment, and painting, all make me wonder why we bought another home in the first place.  Yes, it was cheaper at the time, but the overall expense is greater than the savings.  Not to mention the frustrations as I have written before.

So, while we have not made a decision yet, the driving factors are quality of life, provisions for most medical eventualities for both of us, and future security.  Then there are issues like using my God given spiritual gifts. friends and family.  Trust me, this is not easy!  But it is easier for our Son and Daughter in Law because we are not in an emergency situation and we are involved in making the decision.  But, this is the first Continuing Care Retirement Community that openly said they would take me without reservations or conditions!   We told them about my diagnosis up front!  And we reminded the sales associate when we met with him.  Yet, they seem to want me.   Groucho Marx said: "I would never belong to a club that would have me as a member!"  I hope that does not apply here.

I helped place my Father in Law in a Skilled Nursing Facility when he was shipped to us with Alzheimer's Disease back in the late 1980s.  There were no memory support facilities and Nursing Homes had no idea how to deal with this disease.  Much has changed.  But being a family member of a Dementia patient and trying to find the best facility on a limited budget is a terror we do not want our Son to face.  I am truly sorry for those who have to endure this trial.

So, that's where we are right now.  Still in shock over the up front costs and the monthly fees.  Still trying to decide if the benefits are greater than the costs.  And still asking questions.  Decisions will come, and I will let you know when I know.


  1. Keeping you in my prayers as you continue this journey. I hope you find an answer very soon on your housing issues. I brought my dad to the Dr. on Monday and he got a GLOWING report!!! He is doing wonderful right now!!! LBD is affecting my dad but my dad keeps fighting back with therapy, physical and occupational, vitamins, medications and lots and lots of hugs and kisses from his family.

  2. Thank you so much for sharing your journey. My name is Heather and I was hoping you could answer a question I have about your blog! My email is Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com :-)