Thursday, January 17, 2013

Bouncing back from illness

I had the flu of something that quickly turned into bronchitis.  It took me over three weeks to shake it and I am still coughing.  I was coughing so badly during the height of the illness that I would actually pass out!!   I have had that problem before but not to the level it effected me this time.  But the real issue is that I just did not have the strength to bounce back this time.  I am still weak and I get tired quickly doing just about anything.

I know this is directly related to the effects of the LBD, but t has impacted my mental health.  I now question my resilience.  Just a few years ago, I considered myself indestructible.   I could work through being sick and did, many times.  In my mind, I had a store of energy, strength, and fortitude, that enabled me to "Gut" my way through anything.  I was talking to an old shipmate, who just passed away 21 December.  We reminisced about the time, in Bremerton Washington, that I had too much to drink and a Second Class Cook and I got into an auto crash, he was driving.  We hit a telephone pole and I went through the windshield.  Chief Mowery made me work the next day!!  No sympathy.  But, I did not want any, I was tough.

Now, not so much.  I just want to sleep or sit and watch TV.  I have little or no desire to do anything. Thanks to my wife, I get out, but not of my own choosing.

So, I see the effects of LBD on my mind, body, and psyche.   All negative.  Am I upset about it.  No, not really.  But I am past thinking this is "interesting" as I used too.  Now, I just find it annoying.


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