Wednesday, October 31, 2012

You know what I hate?

Do you know what I hate about having LBD?  I hate not being me.  The old me, what I was, with the capabilities and energy I used to have.  The ability to remember complex things, names, or even to flush the toilet!

Today, I was at a Gideon's event at a Fall Festival held by our local Hospital.  I was talking to strangers, handing out New Testaments, and interacting with those of our Gideon Camp for four hours.  I was exhausted!  About two and a half hours into the event I had to sit down!  And I never really rebounded after that.

The old me could go for 12 hours and be energized by the crowd.  Of course, the old me could mow, trim, edge, and sweep the yard, front and back, and then wash and wax the car, and then be ready for a social activity at night!  But, those days are gone.

There are things I still love to do, but they are too taxing for me and I usually just think about them.   Family, acquaintances, friends, don't realize how this disease effects me.  My wife has the best grasp of how my mind and body works, but she even pushes me to do things.  Yes, I know she is pushing me to do things to help me and keep me i the best mental and physical shape I can be.  ANd yes, I understand that and appreciate it.  But maybe not at the time she is trying to ge me to do something!  If you get my drift.

I hate getting tired, forgetting, not being able to do, physically and mentally, the things I used to.  But what I hate the most is knowing I am as good as I will ever be.

1 comment:

  1. Hi, just wanted to say thank you for your blog. My dad is suffering the same thing and is a WWII and Korean War fighter pilot. At 88, he's still spunky but this has really knocked him down. Reading your thoughts has been instrumental to me and my family in helping us understand how he may feel. We live in Richmond, so it's especially nice to hear your stories from just down the road.