Today, we went to the movies with my son and one of my grandsons. My wife went to hold our seats in the theater while I waited for our son to show up. When he arrived, we went to theater 3 where the movie was to view. My wife was not there. We searched the entire facility, twice. Still no wife. On the third search, I found her in another theater. Naturally I was worried and agitated over the issue. The movie stunk!!
When we arrived home I made coffee as is my norm. Then I went to the bathroom and changed clothes. As my wife returned to the kitchen, she noticed that I had not placed the coffee carafe under the filter basket and coffee was running into the tray we have set up for this eventuality. It worked, it captured the coffee. But I was very upset!!
Why, because anything I mess up because I forget to do a step that was once automatic, upsets me. I immediately burst out with; "People need to realize I am not normal like I was!!" Of course my wife understands that and it was my frustration coming out. After that, I took a nap to calm down.
The truth is, it deeply frustrates me to see the decline in my mental capabilities. You may say, what's the big deal, I do the same thing. Well, I didn't! But it is more than the coffee. It is the problems expressing myself verbally, the constant pain in my legs and arms, and everything else I have written about before. I am getting agitated just writing about it. I am loosing control of my emotions and loosing control of the environment that I live in. Having always been the "Man in Charge", this is the most frustrating and maddening part of this disease.
So, things progress, even if I don't like it!