Sunday, May 6, 2012

Anger management

Anger management is an issue for everyone, regardless of health status, age, or sex.  We all struggle with controlling our tempers.  Just look at a two year old when things don't go their way!  It is not pretty when they melt down.  Or look at a teenager who steps over the agreed upon house rules and gets punished for it.  You would think they just got condemned to prison, for life!  So, you may now understand how I have issues controlling my emotions all of the time.  Remember, the neurologist has explained to me that the social filter portion of my brain, and the brain of many dementia sufferers, is degrading and will someday quit working all together.

Right now, I am, for the most part, able to control my emotions.  Sometimes that is through a process called POUTING!  Yes, I pout if pouting is being quiet and refusing to speak.  That is a way that I can keep my emotions in tact and in turn, not hurt someone else's feelings.  It may make some people uncomfortable, but it works.

I have also written before about my loss of the ability to cry.  It happened before I had a definitive diagnosis of LBD.  But, regardless of when it came to be, I seldom cry and only in the most dire circumstances.  This is a problem because I cannot vent those emotions that get trapped inside of me.  Since I know this, I have to find other ways to deal with my emotions.  My wife is very good at managing most circumstances and is very in tune with my feelings.  So, with her help, most issues are defused or averted.

When we lived in Virginia Beach, in our over 55 apartment, I had an outburst over some folks moving into an apartment.  They commandeered the elevator and I had some packages I needed to move up to our apartment on the third flood.  The people were pretty rude about it and I exploded!  I gave them a wire rushing, the apartment management, and the movers, again!!  Of course, after I calmed down, I apologized.  But, it was ugly.  Just the same, I know there will be a day when I explode, profanity and all.  And I hope that everyone will understand that.  I try to take into consideration, every one's emotions.  I don't want to hurt my family or friends.  But sometimes, that desire seems to not be there and all I can see is that thing I am angry with.  You can see, how not having that "People" filter is a bad thing.  Again, having a care giver who understands this problem is essential to my mental health and the emotions of others.

I once saw a fellow who, without provocation, exploded in profanity at everyone and anyone around him.  He was loud, abusive, and foul!  I did not understand why, until recently.  Now I understand and I hope others will too.

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