Thursday, March 29, 2012

Anger, frustration, sadness

The unknown of LBD has finally worked on my mind.  Or maybe it has been working on my mind for a while and I am just now being honest with myself, but I feel overwhelmed and frustrated about what the future holds.  As you know, we moved to Florida to be close to our Son and his family.  It was a good move, and being close to family and able to interact in person, is wonderful.

However, always in the back of my mind is the thought of; What is next?   What will my mental and physical condition be in one year or two years?  No one can tell me, because no one knows.  Again, that uncertainty is very disconcerting for me and my wife.  We have always made plans, saved for the future, sacrificed now for a better future.  Now we can't even plan for next year!

Yesterday, we went to the Armed Forces Retirement Home in Gulfport Mississippi.  It is a wonderful facility that is staffed by caring professionals who really care!  Naturally, I immediately had friends because the residents are career military personnel.  The fly in the ointment is that my wife and I cannot stay there together since she was not career military.  I understand that rule and agree with it.  But it still puts us in a uncomfortable position.  We spent many years apart due to deployments, training exercises, and trips for  military business as a uniformed member of the Navy and as a GS Civilian.  We made those sacrifices knowing we would have our retirement years together.  Now LBD is threatening to rob us of those dreams.

So, today has been a time of debate, depression, and decision.  We have decided to apply for admission to the Armed Forces Retirement home for me.   It is clearly the best place for me.  Of course, we know there is at least a two year waiting period, and that is good for now.  And, there is no reason we have to accept the offer to become a resident if things change.

You probably see the indecision and frustration we feel in my writing.  We always made plans for as many things as we could.  Life insurance, long term care insurance, liability umbrella coverage, flood insurance.  But, there is no real way we can effectively plan for what we now have to deal with.  Yes, there are continuing care retirement facilities that offer a residence for both of us.  But they want hundreds of thousands of dollars in advance to secure a place.  Then a very high monthly rent that increases!  And, if I were to pass away, my wife would have to stay there or walk away form the $250,000 or more deposit.  Not an attractive prospective.

So, for the moment, we are going to stay here in Florida, and apply for residence for me in the Armed Forces Retirement Home in Gulfport Mississippi.  If they accept me, that will meet our future health care needs.  If they don't, we will need to find another arrangement.  I continue to twist in the wind.

No comments:

Post a Comment