Monday, February 20, 2012

I am a man, I am supposed to fix things!

One of the frustrations in my life since this disease has started to progress is that I cannot fix the things that are wrong.  In the past, I have always been able to fix what was wrong.  If the faucet drips, I replace the seals, if the roof leaks, I get my friends and put on a new roof, if the car breaks down, I trouble shoot the problem and fix it, if a relationship has problems, I find the issues and provide a solution.  My wife says that's what men do.  Actually, when I said this was a frustration to me, she said; "That's what men do, fix things."   She is right, of course.  I explained to her today that I was frustrated because I have had to put her in the position of caretaker.  I know she understands, but I need the security of hearing her tell me all is OK.  That used to be my job, now, I am the one who needs consoling.

Our home Church is experiencing some difficult financial and attendance issues that we are dealing with from a distance.  We love the people of that Church and I wish I could solve the issues they are facing first hand.  Unfortunately, I am powerless and that frustrates me even more.  Yes, prayer is important, but the "Fix it Man" in me wants to be the repairman.  Of course, that's not going to happen.

So, I continue to learn how to live with the limitations of LBD.  But truthfully, I am getting tired of fighting this fight.  I am not sure i want to learn much more.  I know I will, but right now I am feeling the frustrations of coping.

1 comment:

  1. You are not alone with this illness, as I have it and have similar problems to you. We just have to keep fighting it as long as possible, not just for us but our loved ones.

    Best wishes