I have said before how much I loved and respected my parents. They took me in, and raised me, loved me, taught me how to succeed. They raised me after their own children were grown, married, and had their own families. Being raised by older parents, I had the benefit of learning from their experience. My Mom had cancer, before all the wonderful treatment options that we have today. The medical experts of the day did buy her five good years, but the radiation treatments that helped her, eventually killed her. My Dad dearly loved his wife, my Mom, and was devastated by her illness. Yet, he did not understand what she was experiencing at the end. He used to say; If she would just get up, eat a good meal, and walk around the block, she would feel better." Of course, nothing could have been further from the truth, but that was what he wanted, Her BETTER!
This memory has helped me understand the people in my life. They want me back the way I was. They want me to be active, strong, involved, in my life and theirs. But I can't be what I was. I can only be what I am now. Today, we took a walk. A long, brisk walk. In the past we would walk 5 miles, at a pace that most people would consider a jog. We would take those types of walks everyday! But now, my energy levels, my strength, my muscles, just can't do what I used to do. So, sometime, my wife gets frustrated with me because I don't want to walk. But it is not that I don't want to, it is that I can't. But, now I understand, from what I observed in my parents, that, she wants me to be better, be what I was, and so, doing what we DID will make me the way I was! Now I understand. She loves me! But I always knew that.