Friday, December 9, 2011

Evening anger and stress

I have been blogging quite a bit lately.  There are two reasons;  One, I have noticed more issues.  Two. I need to release the stress through my writing.  Writing these blogs feels like I am talking to friends, who care.  It is good for me. Tonight I am writing about my evenings.  When the sun goes down, I am really noticing an increase in the effects of noise and stress.   I have written before about how noise causes me to react negatively. I get angry, yell, cringe, recoil, to a loud noise, the increase in volume of the television commercials, or the telephone ringing.  I also notice that I am more verbally aggressive to things I view on the television.  I say things I would not normally say and react in a manner that upsets my wife.  It is unintentional but, disturbing just the same.

Another issue is my reaction to stressful situations.  During the day, Things bother me less in the day than at night.   For instance, television shows.  A drama during the day, I view as entertainment.  But at night, the same genre of drama upsets me so much that I need to turn the show off.

Another issue happens when there is an issue in our household.  I try to remain calm, not loose my temper, and not react to others emotions.  But that internal fight causes me emotional issues, internal anger, and depression.   I try not to show it, but I know it shows.  Just the same, loosing my temper over something, big or small, is not productive and certainly not good for me and those around me.  I am truly not sure how to deal with this issue.  I will bring it up with the new Neurologist in January.  That's not too far away.

PS;  One other issue, every evening my legs now hurt, ache, feel tight, like the muscles are fighting with each other.  During the day, if we walk a moderate amount, my legs hurt and begin to get weak.  The fact is, I just cannot walk as far as before.  Walking is an exercise my wife and I both enjoy.  But I cannot do our Batann Marches anymore.

I also notice other large muscle groups being painful in the evening, even without excessive use during the day.  But it is my legs that worry me.  The Family Practice Physician I visited yesterday did a leg lift test and then asked me if I noticed weakness in my legs.  I told him I had and he acted like he already knew what my answer would be.  Again, something to discuss with the new Neurologist in January.

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