Friday, September 9, 2011

I GIVE UP!!

Over  and I had to the last couple of week, I have been overwhelmed with a need to change my living conditions.   The over 55 apartment complex that we live in is fast becoming something it was not supposed to be, a place with kids!  It seems, the management has decided that, as long as ONE person on the lease is 55, any other age is OK.  So, we have teenagers, elementary school kids, and all the problems that come with them.  The parking lot has been littered more than once with broken beer bottles and I had to call the Police on a group of teens parked in our GATED, after mid-night, lot smoking pot!  So, I am less than happy.  Add that to the fact that the people who live over us still have the Rugby Team practicing in their living room and the new neighbors below us like to discuss their life at 1000 decibels.!

So, today we visited a "Continuing Care" community.  It is very nice, some what pricey, and probably not for us.  But, the visit still was educational, specially when the sales person told us I was not eligible for continuing care because of my diagnosis of Lewy Body Dementia.  That was very sobering.    But the sales person spent a few minutes telling me I did not look or act like I had LBD and I should get the doctor to say I was "Cured" and then after we were approved, we could go back to the way things are.  Then, on the way home, her questions brought up all of the old questions of, what if?

I explained to my wife that I am the recruiting poster case of LBD.  Just look at the LBD Association web sight and review the list of symptoms!  I have the "on and off" days and even hours, just as they describe.  Also, as I have discussed before, I HAD near photographic memory.  Ask anyone who served with me in the Navy, or anyone who was in GEICO Material Damage Adjuster's Course in 1989.  I could remember anything.  We had to memorize 200 components in the GM 400 Hydromatic Transmission in one night, no problem.  I aced the test.

The other part of this is that I can "ACT" like I am "Normal".  I can follow your conversation, inject a few comments, and you will think I am just fine.  But, I don;t remember what we talked about or even if we did.  So, after today, I have decided I am no longer going to try to look normal.  I know, I said this before, but, this time I am further degraded and I am tired of trying to make people comfortable with my condition.

So, from now on, people, even family are going to see the un-varnished effects of LBD on me.  Today was an eye opener and also very frustrating for me.  It hurts me to be told I am not ill and I am tired of hiding that pain and the effects of my condition.      

2 comments:

  1. I know exactly what you mean. On my good days, it can be hard for anyone who does not know me well to tell anything is wrong with me (other than the obvious physical things that anyone can see). The person who said you don't look like LBD obviously didn't know anything about LBD and was just making a statement based on their own limited understanding of what dementia is.

    I am very curious though to know why having a dementia would mean that you would not be eligible for a continuing care community.

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