I am more coherent tonight and I wanted to write about my Parkinson's symptoms. Last night I was not mentally connected. Maybe my computer needs a "Mentally connected" lock much like a breath test lock on a car ignition switch to prevent drunk driving.
Some time ago, I stopped, with my wife's and my Neurologist's approval, taking Sinemet. That drug caused me terrible nausea and the longer I took it, my ability to manage that side effect diminished until I was not taking doses just to not have the dry heaves. The Neurologist told me the symptoms would come back and she was right. In the evenings, my legs are painfully stiff and cramped. I have difficulty walking and I have balance issues. My other major muscles, arms, neck, upper back, also experience pain in the evening. When I wake in the morning, I seem to be better. I attribute that to relaxing in a prone position and taking the stress off of these supportive muscles. That's my theory.
I also have noticed more shaking when I try to put tooth paste on my tooth brush, or when I attempt other fine motor skills. Even typing and moving the mouse for the computer becomes a challenge in the evening. Again, I attribute this to my Lewy Body Dementia. This change in my Parkinsonian Symptoms aggravates me and I find that, for the first time, I am angry that I have this disease. For many years, I had a wonderful ability to mentally combat medical and mental issues. During deployments, I could think ahead to my home coming and calm my anxieties. Now, I have lost that ability and I only see the progression of the disease. While that is the truth and my reality, it still angers me. Since this is a new emotion, concerning my present condition, I thought it was a good idea to record it and ask for feed back from my online support group.