Monday, April 25, 2011

As this thing progresses.

Almost sounds like the title of a Day Time Drama or a Soap Opera if you are of a certain age.  But it is not, it is life, as we who are afflicted with LBD or any other degenerative neurological disease understand.  As this disease progresses and picks up steam, I still marvel at it's effect on my way of life.  It seems that the old Tech Rep and trouble shooter in me likes to look at this experience from afar.  It is interesting to evaluate the effects on my life, from a detached prospective.  I wonder if others take this approach or I am completely strange.

What effects, there are the expected ones with confusion, inability to learn new things, and even the hallucinations.  But, for me, there have been some unexpected issues.  I lived my life as an extreme extrovert.  I loved being in constant contact with people, in crowds, one on one, telephone calls, visitors, any way of being in contact.  I loved making speeches, Navy retirements, ceremonies,  teaching, meetings, and preaching.  Today, while I still like to be with people, I can only handle it in small doses for short periods of time.  Why, because I get exhausted trying to keep up with the conversation.  Crowds used to give me energy, now they zap my energy, quickly.  I avoid making telephone calls and with the exception of Church, almost completely avoid large gatherings.

Physical energy is another issue I am dealing with much earlier than I thought I would.  Last Saturday, we went to a local park, not 2 miles from our home, to observe a Native American Pow-Wow.  It was magnificent.  I am intrigued by the Native American culture, but I was completely exhausted at the end of 3 hours and came home and slept for 5 hours!  Not so long ago, I could have gone all day and all night.  Now, my dear wife has to balanced time, and my exposure to people to make sure I am not worn out.

A third surprise is my desire for complete isolation.  I really do not want to leave our home.  I am secure, staying in our home or in the apartment complex, all the time.  The things I used to enjoy and seek out, I no longer have a desire to do.  Yes, If my wife plans an event, I enjoy it.  But she has to take the initiative, I will not.    

The last thing I will address today is travel.  Travel completely exhausts me.  I used to love to drive for hours.  After my son and family moved to up state New York, we would visit them ofter and I would seldom relinquish the driving duties to my wife.  The last trip, she did the majority of the driving.  Why, because I have to concentrate so much to drive the car, I get tired quickly.  What used to be automatic to me is now an effort.  Then there is the sensory overload of the trip itself.  This last trip took me three days to recover from.  I was OK with that, because all I did was sleep, but that concerns my wife and makes her worry.

My efforts on this blog and my other two, keeps me engaged as much as I want to be.  I can write on the topics I feel moved to write on and have no demands from you, my readers.  No one has written me and berated me for not writing enough.  May that should worry me.  But it does not.  I realize my execution of the English language is sometime off. And I notice that even "spell check" has troubles with some of my word spellings.  But these endeavors still give me pleasure and psychological stimulation.  I appreciate all of you who read these musings and I really appreciate you replies.  I will keep writing and telling my story as long as GOD permits.

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